Janna Cawrse Esarey: A Self Portrait
Janna Cawrse Esarey Revealed
Revealing Questions
- Q. How would you describe your life in only 8 words?
- A. like the motion of the ocean: UP down
- Q. What is your motto or maxim?
- A. Only connect.
- Q. How would you describe perfect happiness?
- A. Perfect happiness? Heck, I'll just take regular old happiness, thanks. Singing loud and off-key on a roadtrip. Sun-warmed raspberries off the bush. The way a hug sometimes nestles me into my daughter so her neck and mine are the same. So many things. But, all in all, it's round and warm and orange-ish red and full and faintly sweet. It's the way I feel talking with my husband or my girlfriends or my mom when they really really GET me.
- Q. What’s your greatest fear?
- A. Not having lived life to its fullest. (That, and my husband falling overboard while taking a leak.)
- Q. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?
- A. Right here. Right now. (I'm sure that's the Zen sort of thing everyone says, but it's truly what I strive for. Sometimes achieve.)
- Q. With whom in history do you most identify?
- A. My mom. I'm not sure if she counts, but I think it's funny how it's only famous people we learn about "in history." What about all the real people? I've learned the most about the world and myself from my mom.
- Q. Which living person do you most admire?
- A. My partner, Graeme.
- Q. What are your most overused words or phrases?
- A. "I love you." But I like it that way.
- Q. What do you regret most?
- A. Hurting other people's feelings. I know that sounds weird, but there are a few (OK, maybe several) things I've done or said in my life that were just plain mean. Those memories pain me more than any other regrets I can think of.
- Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?
- A. Playing the guitar. I tried to learn while on our voyage, but I was dismal.
- Q. What is your greatest achievement?
- A. Teaching sixth graders in New Orleans with Teach For America.
- Q. What’s your greatest flaw?
- A. One? Impossible. But here are some: crappy time management skills, over-emotional-ness, high-horsedness, distractibility, obsession with details, stupid insecurities, the ridiculous notion that the world revolves around me, worrying what others think, not caring what others think, being a dreadful cook, thin skin, thick head, the list goes on...
- Q. What’s your best quality?
- A. The fact that I'm just doing the best I can.
- Q. If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?
- A. No matter how much life may stink at times, I can't imagine wanting to be anyone else. Then I'd have to deal with their problems. I mean, everyone has problems. I, at least, know and own mine. (Plus, as my mother-in-law once said in between radiation treatments for breast cancer: Life is fun!)
- Q. What trait is most noticeable about you?
- A. Um. I'm intense. That's both good and bad.
- Q. What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?
- A. Passion. Introspection. Willingness to connect.
- Q. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?
- A. Sushi.
- Q. What are your 5 favorite songs?
- A. 1) "Southern Cross" by Crosby, Stills, & Nash. 2) "Rock Song" which I wrote for my husband, Graeme, on our wedding, played by Sean Stanley (you can listen at www.byjanna.com). 3), 4), and 5) Anything sung by The Weepies in general or Deb Talan in particular.
On Books and Writing
- Q. How did you come to write Motion of the Ocean?
- A. I was a high school English teacher who always longed to write but never had the time. So when my partner and I set sail, I began writing in earnest—journals, blogs, bad poetry, and eventually articles for sailing magazines. I also started banging my head against a novel, which I hope to return to someday...but at one beautiful island my husband suggested I write about the here and now rather than some fictitious place in my head. Around this time, it also became glaringly obvious that my girlfriends back home didn’t even know where to begin when asking about our crazy sailing adventure; my life at sea seemed totally foreign to them. And yet I was dealing with the same issues they were: love, sex, ticking clocks, balance, identity, dreams. So, really, I wrote The Motion of the Ocean for my girlfriends—and girlfriends everywhere—in order to add my voice to that never-ending conversation that happens among thinking, laughing, real women everywhere. (And, OK, my husband was right about the here and the now.)
